My mama .. bow :)

It is never without my mama will I be who I am today. At the thought of missing her., I just want to honor her with this blog.

I thank God not for the kind of mama He gave me but for who my mama is. A perfectly imperfect mama who stood by me from the moment when my knees are still weak to stand. My mind cannot remember the first time I saw her face nor I can tell when I first hear her voice .. but I know she do know when she first see and heard mine. Growing up, I never see her fought with pop and never did she throw angry words on us. She has been the greatest model of my life. Living in the truth of what life is.

I have likes that she don't agree on, but she supports it and that is what I love about her the most. I sometimes fail, but she remained to be my number one fan of all times. I screw up and she allow me to swallow the pain and help me get healed after then. My mama.. sometimes it is so annoying to hear her say this and that but I miss is when she don't.

Wish you were here ma. I love you.

CHANGE

How do you go about changes? allow me to quote a line from my favorite series Smallville "Life is about change, sometimes its painful .. sometimes its beautiful, but most of the time its both" - Lana Lang.

And as they say, change is the only constant thing on earth aside from my own belief that God's love is. Oh well, I know that we all go through all sorts of changes in life but you see .. it is taking me a while to embrace changes that entails being away from people who I am used to spending time with. Talk about maturity .. I hate the fact that as we mature or grow older we get to part ways with our closest friends or worst with our family members because we have separate lives to live and yea .. sometimes it happens in different places too. Ooh .. I don't even know where this blog is taking me. Maybe I need to get on to bed now and wake up early to jog a bit.

I love you :)

LAUGHTERS'

Laughter is when you have to bite your lips to make it red because you were told to put a lipstick on but you don't have one.

Laughter is when you sit in a row of ladies who's reading incorrect lyrics from their apple (iPads, Mac-air) gadgets and you are reading yours (the correct one) in an iPad-paper.

 Laughter is when a typo error turned out to be a word to call another person where no one could ever comprehend why you call each other that way.

Laughter is when you are in a tent with friends .. all locked up when someone in the group farts so bad.

Laughter is when you try so hard to get mad and your pupils will laugh about it so you'll end up laughing too.

Laughter is when I will tell my kid that he has a big tummy and he will answer back "ikaw ren naman" (you too)

Laughter is when, a soldier sing and dance "jologs" songs in front of everybody where his "kagalang -galang" photo in front is hanging.

Laughter is when, I imagine me and my friends ordering from mcdonald's drive thru on our feet. :))

Laughter is when you get on in a crowded .. almost overloaded elevator and you don't turn back but face all of them instead.  (smiling)

*laughter has always been a super great medicine. It always comes available when you choose to see things in a positive light. I learned that being unhappy never do us any good nor will it turn an unlikely situation to something better. We choose how we live and how we live affects the people around us. How well do you like to live a life that can only be lived once? Think again.

I love you :)

Dear Diary #1

Dear Diary,

I was feeling dizzy the whole day and my energy had gone down to its lowest. I threw up like 3 times and I literally forgot to eat perhaps that's what made me feel so weak. But yea .. my thoughts are still active but I have lose interest to converse with anyone. I happen to mis-send sms and even pm's on my social sites so I decided to just turn the green light off. I had a little chitchat with mom and dee over yahoo voice though ..but not the usual, my tongue is placed.

I'm typing all these while my younger sister is conversing with our younger sisters in tagalog so they won't forget to speak the language (they sound so cute and funny) soon enough they will be together when ate and I will be left here in the Phil for a time., I hope though that it won't be too long. I wish I can see God's gantt chart .. to know where I am now. Life matters, why all of a sudden I felt unhappy? seasons ..

My Friend :)

What good is it to have a friend to reverse your petty thoughts to silly things. To give you time when there's almost none to spare and to deliver words to remind you of truth.

Returning home as she relinquish on bed, she recalls how the day had gone. Rewinding words that are thrown to her she is almost in tears. Out of all the compliments received, she remembered the negatives and fed them. What's the matter?' she checked her heart. Inside it is a wellspring, a river of joy wanting to come out but is bounded for she is sometimes blinded with what her eyes can only see.

There comes the green light' a timely timely green light. Now she's refreshed, she's back on track and never going back.

BALANCE: Life & Work

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak. 

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall; 

31 but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 29 - 31 

It's the first day of the week and i feel like Friday tired. I'm happy to start my week right though, I woke up early .. heard from God and report to work 30mins. before time. It was a fine day, my kids behaved well and it made me realize that God can possibly tame them for my sake, they all tried their best to listen to whatever I have to tell them and did their seat works pretty well aside of course to those who are yet to adopt our everyday rituals. 

This afternoon, we had our admin meeting as usual and our dear principal taught us about Self Governance. I'm trying to recall when I first heard about it but more than that .. I feel so ashamed for not giving an answer when asked in what area do I think I have a strong self governance on., I wanted to say I have a well established spiritual discipline but I don't want to sound too religious so I'd say I can't think of any .. arghh!!! my thoughts are so cluttered. I am overwhelmed .. overwhelmed by all of the things that I should accomplish with no ample time given, but you know what? God remained to be gracious. Gracious in a sense that no matter how filled my time is .. He always grant me a good sleep at night.,short but deep straight sleep and I can never trade that for anything. Another thing is that He refresh me every morning with all His promises which He remains to be faithful on, even if I'm not. I appreciate that I have an hour to just devote my time to Him in school before all the kids enter the room .. I need that .. I need that, because when the cloth struck at 8am .. before I know it, it's already dark outside and that goes from monday - friday. So say whut?' please don't think that I am whining over my assignments, this is just an avenue for me to somehow withdraw my thoughts. Hehehe

Saturday is SABBATH .. and I promise myself not to do any work related task on this day. I get up to bed a little late, do the laundry (yes it's a form of therapy for me too), catch a really cool movie in Disney Channel and  head on to either gym or music team practice or vice versa. However, if I have an event to do on a Saturday .. Sunday will be my sabbath. 

Multi - tasking or working on many things is no wrong, but it is important to balance LIFE&WORK. We don't waste LIFE in working and we cannot LIVE without working, both are essential for living but imbalance will cause us to fail in fulfilling the purposes that God has for us. Say for instance, when we work too much we missed the joy of enjoying what we earn from what we are working in. It steals our time from the most important people in our lives say our families and good friends and it can make us feel so exhausted and ugly. Hehehe. On the other hand, too much resting not wanting to work will not please God at all. It's wasting the most precious thing (aside salvation)  a man is given .. time. 

I should admit, I still have a hard time managing my time. I am not good in prioritizing things, I consider everything significant for me .. my workout, tutorials, time with family NAME THEM. And I am not empowered to say NO to some things. Oh well, I am a work in progress but I guess I have to be wise in what to and what not to do with my time. I can't say "so many things to do, so little time" because we were all given equal time in a day it only differs with how well do we use it. *yawn .. it's 12mn and it's way past the time I promise my best friend that I will sleep. May this be the last time that I will stay up late. God help me. Thanks for reading. :) 

joyieness. 7/04/11 

EPIC: Lazy Satuday :)

EPIC .. today is indeed a day like no other. It was an easy day, not like my usual tiring day. I was a awaken by the loud voices coming from my sisters mouth and from dee,mama and sisters from the other side of the world through YM voice chat. I felt good, feels like we are all under one roof .. all of them saying my name, waking me up and telling me that I'm a lazy head while Gina says I'm pretty if I get up. Moments later while talking to them, I cried "morning tears" coz I felt unhappy for something that is coming. Oh well, my family has always been my weakness.

So I planned to go to school to accomplish some task but I remembered the importance of "Sabbath" .. I realized that I am so consumed by my job and it is no good, that God ordained His people to rest and I guess it's a sin not to rest. Hehehe .. am I making an excuse? I tell you not, for on the 7th day of creation even God took a rest. :)

It feels good to just hang around at home once in a while .. read a good book' open His word, get refreshed  and prepare for the coming week. I ate cereals for breakfast and turned the TV on and tune in to my all time favorite .. disney channel' there shown the Brother Bear II. Oh how I love it, I think I should catch the part1. After which., I slept again :))

Head out to MOA to finally meet ate Darling, she sang so well and brought with her some cool "pasalubong", heard from 3 of my closest boyfriends today and ended my day having dinner with my younger sister Tisha.

Love this day indeed, I miss Bwar though. Thank you Lord for a life so sweet.