When things are too annoying ...

One kid is crying and the rest are busy making noise, one child comes to me asking to unbutton his pants coz he needs to pee while another child is calling because he needs a tissue to blow on. On the other corner are 2kids going under the table and ripping off my table sidings as another one hurt another unintentionally. Imagine it happening all at the same time and if you are not patient enough .. you might decide to just leave the room and sleep at home. "Lord, where are you? I need a whole bunch of grace"

Just so you know, we have a presentation this Friday and I am so pressured about teaching my kids with all the correct lyrics and actions of our song. I tell you, it isn't easy and their "being a child" adds up to making it more difficult. I don't know what happened to them today .. they were so unruly I felt so helpless getting their attention and have them obey me. I almost cried at that very minute and for the first time I raised my voice really high and suddenly it's like the earth stopped revolving .. looking at their innocent faces hurried on their chairs sat up straight and look at me I felt guilty and I hope I hadn't. So for that, I owe them an apology tomorrow.

You may probably read my post about all the fun-talks I had with the kids., my others friends are actually waiting when I'm going to share another while others say that they want to be a pre-school teacher too. So if you do too, this is the other side of being one.

Everyday, when I come to work I consistently ask God to make me come prepared, filter my thoughts, my heart and my mouth that I may only speak life towards them and show them the most sincere and kindest acts that I could. I hug them, kiss them and often reassure them of their worth because I love them and I know that it is my job to do so. But somehow, I lose track. I got tired and I feared that I almost swayed my way out.

....to be continued.

TIME OF MY LIFE

Life has it's own set of phase .. and timing has a lot to do with what could happen. I am trying to look at my life's Gannt Chart as I am listening to the song "Time of your life" by Greenday. Staring at the clear blue sky with a strong wind come rushing through my face by the window .. I say a little prayer to God.

I am asking God to search my heart as I am seeking Him earnestly at this point of time, He is so silent that He is making me want to reach out for Him all the more. I am waiting and waiting is sometimes awkward. I don't like the feeling, I don't like the season, I want to fast it forward but if I do .. I may miss out the vitals.

Perhaps I have forgotten who am I and fail to also remember that my timing is different from God's. You know that with too much people going I somehow felt left behind. I don't easily adopt to change .. well who does? .. so here am I on a pruning phase and I am just excited about what the next phase would be.