HERE TO STAY

Hi all, how is everything going? it took me a short while to write again though I have 4 pending entries that I am yet to publish. I want to say "I need more time" but well we were all given equal time so I have no right to demand for more. Anyway, I am here to stay. :)

I was consumed with sorrow and doubt for the past weeks after mama left for US. I felt a sudden rush on things, RUSH even on my maturity as a person and as a heiress in Christ. I tried to plan things out, I got confused .. I cried and I tried to be strong. I declared His goodness but at one point .. I raised questions to Him, but I feared' I fear that God will throw back those questions and ask my why do I think so. Then I imagine Him writing all His promises to me and then say "here are my promises, have you not read? or if you do have you believed? if you believed, why ask me this questions?"

Sunday came and we attended our usual Sunday service. On the screen says "when God doesn't make sense" THIS GOT ME. We've read through the entire book of Habakkuk (click to read the book) where he rant his questions and hurts to God, he was so vocal with his feelings that maybe if I was there I will ask him to stop and remind him that he is talking to GOD. So what was the response of God? He could've just took his life right there He is God anyway and He owns our life but He didn't.. instead, God declare promises. Then I wondered, WHY? can God not answer our questions? HE CAN .. but why not? Because we cannot fully understand His ways so He gives promises and it is for us to trust Him completely.

Today, I was tasked to lead our devotion in school and I read about the Parable of the sower in Matthew 13. Remembering a tiny plant that I once saw on the mountain gently swaying as the strong wind blows but not uprooted. To my curiosity I lean towards it and saw the same kind of plant that is uprooted., I noticed that its root is even longer than the plant itself. The thing here is, where do we saw our seeds? on the path, rock or on a soil where roots can go deep?' ASK OURSELVES NOW.

2 Things I learned on this season:

1.  It's okay to ask God, not that we are questioning His will but to hear His voice and remind us of His promises that we have forgotten. Remember that we may not understand God, but He understand us. He sees our heart. Allow me to quote the last tweet our one of our Pastors wife who suffered from cancer “There are things I don’t understand, questions I want to raise. But I should know my place & praise YOU instead.” – Maileen Hern   
2.  Reading His word is not enough, meditation is a must. We read His word not to impress or brag that we do but we read to meet with God in such a way that strong relationship will be built which results to a life that is pleasing before Him. 

Things may still be confusing for me to this point, but I will wait on the Lord. I AM HERE TO STAY :)