On Habagat

This entry is written last Tuesday (August 7,2012) however, I did not find it helpful to post at that time so I had to save it for today.

As I sat on this comfy bed, leaning against a strong wall with the AC on and a good internet connection I can’t help but thank God for putting me in such a place of comfort while a lot of my countrymen are suffering from the flood that the tropical depression has caused our nation. Please don’t get me wrong God definitely love every human being He created and He doesn’t play favourites. I think that for whatever kind of situation He allowed us to be in He is whispering something in our ear.

 The bible says in Genesis 2:15 “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and TAKE CARE of it” I am not protesting against anyone here, I only wish to remind ourselves that even in the simplest thing that we ought to know by “common sense” God is kind enough to still instruct us to take care of what He created for you and me. But what do we do? “sigh”

I bluntly uttered my inmost annotation as I watch the television with one of my favorite Kuyas this morning saying “tayo ren naman ang may gawa nito, tapos kasi tayo nang tapon kung saan saan lang” and this is what he says “hindi lang naman ikaw ang matinong nakakaisip nyan, kaya lang mas maraming mahirap kesa mayaman” I pause for sometime and ponder on what he meant when he say the latter then I realized the fact that there are more people who doesn’t live in a decent place where there will be garbage collectors to collect their trash and send it to the proper dump site so yes my kuya definitely made a point there and I admire him for having such witty thought. 

We all have our own set of lame excuses whenever things drifts away from what should be especially when the aftermath is unbearable. Remember that the little things can do so much; you may be one concerned citizen to keep that trash in your pocket till you come across a trash bin and my challenge to you is to do it still. 

“He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers” Psalm 1:3 We can still do something .. so LET US. May God above bless the works of your hand.

Here comes the rain again

This entry is inspired by the sudden rain fall today, last night my grandmother told me that the temperature today will rise to 37 .. now that's extreme humidity to expect right? yet today .. at this very hour I feel cold and it lead me to take the quilt I got from the captain who left today for call of duty. I miss him already. :( Rain seems to cry with me, this is so melancholic. I want to head home and curl up on my bed.

Sentiments of walking away

I am suppose to be finishing exams that are due TODAY but I find myself unhappy thinking about the paper that I signed and submitted earlier today. My hand literally shake as my manager hand me the pen saying "wala ka pang pirma" in my heart .. I wish I wouldn't have to do it but circumstances and long term goals require me to do so.

For 2 years, I am grateful to always have a reason to smile and even laugh even at the worst days of my life. To receive tight hugs and sweetest kisses that overflows every single day. When I feel unloved, I think about them and then I will go back to the certainty that I am truly loved. But more than the joy and comfort that they give me, I thank God that He cause my life to home them in school for a period of time. Like in a book, one chapter awaits after the other. These little ones will always own a place in my heart and no one can take that away. I'll be back. They will be under His care and i won't need to worry about who will handle them after me and then I too will be just fine. :)

Found love :)

So February is about to end in a day but my tale about finding the truth behind LOVE continues until the day comes. I am in awe how my Maker is able to birth in me a new heart. One this is completely whole .. leaving no trace of brokeness. I am sharing my heart out hoping that I won't sound too idealistic or religous as I may be. 

It was a happy day when an incident that happened in a train station pushed me to shed off a layer and be open to change. Like visiting my gym for the first weeks, things were plainly painful and odd. But as I continue on with the things that I should do ... I see better results. Trust me, I am making sense here' hahaha!!! Seriously, healing a broken heart is the hardest especially when you have to deal with it yourself not because no one is willing to help but because the battle is within you, within you, within you. Call me whatever but the struggle went on for more than a couple of years .. WHY? because I choose to be in it. It's that simple, no one else to blame :) 

The Impossible

I have given it my all and unfuel myself until the last drop, will I ever fall inlove again if I give up on this? But hey in the first place .. was there ever us? tears fall. Isaac was born when Abraham was on his hundreth year while Sarah is way behind her child-bearing years. How impossible then it is for the LOVE to create in me a new heart? :)

The Rescue

I was told many times in those long years to flee off or I will be swept away but my ears are too deaf to hear. Lot in the event when God is about to destroy the city is even hesitant to obey but still He has shown an in depth Love for them when He sent his angels to drag them out of the city before He reigned down the burning sulfur. I am so precious to be burned am I? :)

The Challenge

Already willing and acting upon every given task so well when sweeping and peeling off another layer took place. There I was standing with no confidence at all. The King is enthralled by your beauty, honor Him for He is your lord. Quoting from Psalm 45:11. By the beach I have gone through this passage and in my heart I gained peace. He had made the vast of the ocean so beautiful, why wouldn't He make me His heir more beautiful than that? :)

Unveiling the beauty

God put Adam to sleep when He created Eve. One of the reason I believe behind it was it could be very painful for Adam to be awake as God will take off a rib out of him and another was maybe God doesn't think it is likely for Adam to see how messy the creation of Eve will be ( I mean there's blood and everything ). In my mind, why didn't God just created Eve the same way He created Adam? Oh well, that is another thing to ponder on but for now I will rest on the truth that woman are not wired to show ultimate vulnerability to a man until such time when she is already made whole. Leaving a whole bunch of things for that man to search the heart of the LOVE before he find mine. :)

The Cure

I found LOVE. I learned about LOVE. And I fall deeply in love with the first and the last LOVE. At one point, this LOVE showed me a picture of what transpired .. had me face a mirror to see the present and lastly gave me a glimpse of what could it be in the future. In quietness and trust .. I held the hand of LOVE and obeyed. 

Thank you for reading :)

Bawal ang nakasimangot

Nakakatuwa .. matagal tagal din akong walang blog ah. Kamusta na? ayos pa ba .. cool ka lang kase sa kabila nang lahat nang pangit na pangyayari sa paligid meron pa ring maganda tayong makikita kung lubusan lang nating bubuksan ang ating mga mata. 

Masaya ako, at sa sobrang saya ko' napapatagalog ako para masaya lang .. para kakaiba naman. Hindi naman iba sa akin ang maging masaya.,masayahin naman akong sadya pero iba ito. Lubos yung ligaya na nararamdaman ko sa puso ko.,para akong bagong kasal sa sobrang ligaya. Hindi pa ako nakasal, pero naka witness na ako ng kasal na batid ko kung paano ginawa .. kaya ayon parang alam ko lang ang pakiramdam at siguro ganito yung klase ng saya na nadama nila at maaring higit pa. 

 

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko masambit ng sakto kung baket ako masaya ... pero ito kase yung klase ng ligaya na kahit naranasan kong simangutan at hindi kausapin ng maayos ngayong araw ay nagawa ko pa reng ngumiti at piliing mahalin yung taong nagsungit sa akin. Inisip ko na lang na marahil, kailangan nya lang nang pang unawa. :) 

Pinaalala saken ni Lord yung Proverbs 15:1, sabe nya dun na "a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh words stirs up anger" .... lahat naman tayo ay tao lang. At kahit gaano pa tayong kabait ay  dadating ang mga araw na mabubugnot tayo, pero isang bagay pa ang natutunan ko na sa bawat aksyon na gagawen natin may kaakibat itong epekto sa tao na nakakita o nakarinig sayo. Pwede kang pumikit at mag buntong hininga hangga't kaya, pero kung hindi naman .. edi sige magalit ka' mainis ka o kaya magsungit ka gusto mo yan e. Ang tanong ko lang eh .. ipagpapalit mo ba ang isang relasyon sa isang sandaling hindi mo na control ang iyong emosyon?' sayang naman. Pero hindi bale .,wag ka pa ren mag alala kasi depende pa ren naman sa tao kung paano nya tatanggapin ang mga pangyayare sa paligid nya. :)

Ang likot ng isip ko. Basta ngiti ka lang.,wag natin sayangin ang pagkakataon na makapag bigay buhay dahil nagbigay ka ng ngiti at nagsalita ng maayos. Gusto kong balikan yung PAG - IBIG., punuin natin nito ang puso natin' si Jesus ang tinutukoy ko. MAgugulat ka na lang ... kumikinang ka na. :)

PAG - IBIG ni Yeng Constantino (awitngpusongmamon)

Mahiwaga ang pag - ibig. Matapos mawasak ang puso ko nung unang araw ng taon. Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko sa tunay na kahulugan ng pag - ibig. Nag - iisang tunay na pag - ibig. Salamat kay Yeng at sa mga taong natuwa sa pag gawa ko nito. :)

May hiwaga ang tunay na pag - ibig. Isusulat ko sa susunod. :)

A beautiful story :)

She lives her life just as she found it while he lives it without the fear of losing it. They crossed path sometime in 2003 in a University where they studied college. She didn't quite liked him at first because he always tease him and pull her pony tail from her newly fixed hair every time. Days went by and she already get used to it, 2004 came and early on that year her father died. Little did she know that his dad died when he was 2 or 3 until he began to open his life to her. The story has been told again .. and again .. and again. Since then, her view of him deepen. There's something about this man that is so special that draws her closer to him, in her heart she wants to show him how beautiful life is no matter what the circumstances are and there are far more important things to treasure than a stick of cigar which he values the most at that time. 


Days, weeks, months and years gone by what happened to thee?' she only remember the good things they've shared. Sometime over the years when he would catch a firefly to keep her from crying or make fun of himself even in public just so she would laugh., when one morning in the mountain after he climb up to the peak he brought down a flower for her. Remembering moments when he  was at her side the entire time when her mom whom he loves and loves him so dearly was sent to the hospital a couple of times. It is but a sweet memory to remember moments when they walk on the streets of some places and he hides from her (but not when it's dark) He never lose his patience towards her in her most bratty acts (not even once). He manage to even embrace the moods of her mom and sisters, she smiles. He has always been there ... he never left. 


It is a wonder when on the very first time that she met his family, they seem to be so knowledgeable about her that they know even her most embarrassing moments ... instantly she felt close and accepted by them. Their love made her love him all the more. 


Countless memories of both sorrow and joy were shared ..she can't help but smile every time she remembers them. But as they go older it can be that they have chosen to live different lives away from each other or yet live with someone else. No matter how perfect the picture can be.  It just wouldn't fit in to the frame of being together forever. 


Maybe they are the perfect two as most people sees it but there are things that just can't be. They may not end up together but she was told that he will remain to be her one great love. He may have loved another woman but she knows that he loves her more than anyone else. It's a special kind of love that he cannot share with anybody else. 


She may have cried a bucket of tears but her heart is not filled with regrets, she hopes the best of joy in the world for him as he hopes likewise for her. Roads may have to lead elsewhere somehow for a time but later in HIS rightful place and time they will see each other on the crossroads. :)

I don’t know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you’re not scared of anything at all
Don’t know if Snow White’s house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

Thank you for reading.

Dear Boss: I QUIT!!!

I LEAVE IT TO YOU

Things are so frustrating and I am hurting to bits. What good is it to fight when you know you'll end up losing? it's like joining a game when you don't know the mechanics or joining a singing contest without a good piece. So I stare at the wall and tried to fill my mind with happy thoughts. It didn't quite work this time, thank God for mama. She talked to me tonight and tell me things that I needed to hear. This is what she said ...

"it doesnt mean youre giving up the battle, ang ibig sabihin lng who will take over"

What mama meant is ... sometimes we also have to quit to win, the battle is not ours to fight alone but His. We have a part to play in every battle and once it's done it's HIS turn to be GOD.  


All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” 1 Samuel 17 :47         
                                                                                                                
Therefore, not everyone who QUITS loses. Sometimes it only shows a picture of  absolute surrender when things are beyond our  control.

The Captain

So I am holding back my tears coz I am in a net cafe and i don't find it cool to show off tears in places like this until I got myself to this photo that made me hold back laughter instead. I can't say much about it except that the skinny and the most untidy person that I came to know for about 8years now can look better than Sam Milby on this photo., so just see for yourself.

This man has been a pain on my butt since the time I know him but well somehow I am on him too. I can't help now but to think of the times when I am at my lowest point and he's there .. even to this time that he no longer own his time. He still manage to make me feel that he cares and steal some time to see me. He is usually not there at the leap of all my joys but never did he fail to be there when I need him. He never promised to always be there, but what he does to me amounts more than all his broken promises. 

Jigouy, I salute you for you. Do whatever, just don't die in the battlefield as you just told me that you are not trained to die. I'm proud of you .,a soldier an actor :)) 

Facebook post: on Monday, 03 October 2011 at 23:27

Season of Loneliness

by Joyieness Valenz on Wednesday, 28 September 2011 at 23:56

It's been 2weeks and 1 1/2 hours after my life has turned to the other end. Surprisingly, I somehow felt at peace and more than that I felt happy today. I'm still borken .. but slowly' the broken pieces are putting themselves back together to make me whole.

I have learned a lot and it's super cool how the learnings branch out to more learnings. There are three important lessons that I want to share with you tonight, aside from the other ones that maybe I can also share with you sometime soon.

1. Comfort Zone is dangerous - like Job, I am certain that the evil is jealous that God has been faithful in providing not only my needs but my wants as well. I have all the comforts of life a young lady like me could ever asked for, but you know .. after the theft, EVERYTHING has been taken away, not even a home is left for me. So for 2weeks now, everyday when I wake up I am not sure as to where to lay my head. But I praise God still because when He took away my comfort .. He made Himself known to me all the more. I don't mean that God is hesistant to give us comfort in the end He returned everything and even more to Job. So I am excited. :)

2. Humility to its roots - I admire Jesus, He is King but He humbled Himself for the sake of us sinners. The other day, it is so humbling to go to a computer shop or even borrow a cousins laptop just so I can talk to my mama when for the last years I own a laptop and had my wifi connection even at home. These days, I only stayed with relatives and friends and you know how it goes when it's not your own when for the last years I do what I want at home, laze around and just do whatever .. now it shouldn't be.

3. ........ - i dont know how to call it, but one of the most important lesson that I learned is that you have to independently live your own life somehow. That you cannot always depend on people to do things for you nor to always come available when you need them. We don't own all the problems in the world and as I have said before, we are all given equal shares of it. Moreover, when we learn to live happily on our own .. people will only come as a bonus to live a happier / better life.

*I am enjoying this season and I hope that in whatever season God has placed you today, you will also learn to hear what He wants You to grasp and enjoy it the same way I do. Be excited, life is good. Live it.

Apir!!!

Heart is Home

by Joyieness Valenz on Saturday, 24 September 2011 at 23:28

Steve Jobs once said in his message for the graduat'ing students of Staford University that Sometimes life is gonna hit you in the head with a brick .. don't lose faith.

Today, I come across a Facebook post that break my heart entirely to think that even in trouble times like this .. there will be people who are not considerate enough to even understand. Moreover, they will add up to your bearings and cause your heart to bleed all the more.And on the side, forgiveness always comes available.  It's sad, but God clearly said in His word ....

Isaiah 41:10 
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In all gratitude, I sincerely thank the people who welcomed me in their homes and showed me their utmost love. Tita Eva, thank you for standing by me all throughout from taking my call that night to staying by my side during and after the investigation and until walking with me under the rain helping me to look for a new place to stay. It would've been harder without you. Tita Gay, for giving me the best comfort I could ever get and for staying up late just to wait for me to come home. For the sweet talks and good laughs amidst these trials I sincerely appreciate you. Ina, you are such a blessing, thank you for standing with me for 3days of PNF, for all the encouragements. For making me see that life is still beautiful and for the cool treat when I ran out of cash. I love you.Marvin and Kat , it's so sweet of you to sleep on the floor while I sleep on your bed. Marvin, for going out of your way that night to be where I am and Kat for stealing time in the office to contact me and for making room for me not only in your closet but in your private room as well .. I need less to say that you are the truest friends a catcat can have. Dyok, thank you for going out of your way to see me despite your lack in available time and for loving me sincerely. Jigs, I am never wrong to think that no matter how difficult life will be .. you will always be there for me. Seasons of life come and go but you stayed the same. Ma,Dee,Ate,Tricia,Sarah and Gina ., i love you with all my heart. I am no 7y.o. I will make it through. :)

For the rest of the people who gave me the tightest hugs you all know who you are. My dearest lolo and lola, I will always be okay. Much loves.  For my relatives - family for helping me sort my stuffs and all. Tita Jaque&Ryck for welcoming me in your house at any time. Ate Joy P.,for the most relaxing night, I appreciate the tea that you made for me, for the movie and all that. To the Batiancela - Fajardo family, to my victory family, C.A.Mak, my kids parents for the comfort and even for offering me your homes. My kids, who never fail to make teacher laugh ..  I am one blessed young lady :)

It's hard to accept that I no longer have my own home when everyone else has but when I saw an old lady sleeping on a street side I praised God for this life blow for it made me see how blessed I am. I learned that God will cause people to experience hardships to fullfill His purpose at any time at any season, no matter where you are or who you're with. And it is true that He will even use a massive of people for the sake of one. Right now, I am learning the hard way but in time I will only look back to this and smile. I don't have a home at this time but I reside in the heart of God and in the hearts of the people who love me so dearly.

Celebrate life, victory is possible :)

it's tiring .. but imma make it :)

NOT ALONE

by Joyieness Valenz on Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 00:50 / Facebook

Heavy rain and I'm not quite sure where to go, I left my umbrella in the house where I last slept .. I stood still and faked a smile. It was late and it left me no choice but to ride a cab. Pondering on the things that life is offering me, the radio played a song that goes ...

I guess by now you'd realize
You can't be on your own
And all your cares
And all your burdens
Should be cast upon His throne
Letting go, just let go, letting go
Let go and you'll understand

Tears began to well up my eyes, I can't barely see a thing. I uttered a little prayer and asked God to deliver me on this. Five days ago, I am surprised to come home with my house door widely opened ... things scattered all across the house and as expected my dearly gadgets ALL gone [laptop/s, iPod,camera,sister's cp and cash] it took a short while before I get myself to move and the moment I did .. I lose control.

After 25 long yeas of being dependent, I am now on my own. I used to tell mama that I want to try it out .. to get my own place .. do what I want with my time and all the like until I had the chance to be in it when the theif came to steal not only my things but my comfort of having a place to call home. This is tougher than I think it would be, and surely I don't understand why God wanted me to go through all these. But for whatever reason He is preparing me for, I pray that I'll endure.

BADTRIP : Ano bang problema mo?!

by Joyieness Valenz on Monday, 29 August 2011 at 21:45 / Facebook

Last week we had an admin / faculty photo shoot for the school's website and I got depressed after looking at the photo because I look awefully bad. Today, I receive an sms from a networker who is bugging me to sign up under his name that says "ang laman ng bulsa mo ay syang laman rin ng utak mo" meaning your earnings depends on the capacity of your brain. Agree or not this is what God taught me at this time of my life ..

Problems in life are like death, it can't be cheated. And no matter how big and small they are, everybody has it and there's no way you can bail yourself out. But how does it differ? perhaps it's the way we look at it and to whom do we run to when we have one. Do we stop and pitty ourselves, run to people to earn symphaty and hear words that we wanted to hear. Or see it as a platform to view your horizon and run to the ONE who knows everything that He created?'

I've been through a lot in my life,my sister almost died in 1998 when at the same time my uncle died. We have no money when I am about to enter college. I lived away from my parents and end up to be a working student. My pop died when I was 17 followed by my grandmother after a month, who happen to be the closest to me at that time because then, I live in my grandparents house and we sleep in one room. My grandpop almost gave up on his own life a year ago when it's almost his birthday. And yes, I had the most terrible heartbreak not any of you can ever imagine.

People often says, palagi kang masaya nu? wala ka bang problema?' well .. I do too. Honestly, my weight is a problem for me. My little earning perhaps is a problem too when it can't even meet my needs at times. My inabilty to get over the feelings that I have for the only man that I love is a big one not to mention the slow phase of my career is giving me headache and certainly living miles away from my mama, dee and sisters is sometimes depressing. So if you think that we don't have equal shares of life blows .. think again.


....to be continued.

Sick or healed .. I am SEALED

8-16 / FB Post

So I did not report to work today because I am feverish and feeling awefully bad. I was coughing and sneezing so bad that I can't hardly breath when I woke up. So I got up tried to dress up for work but end up sending sms to our school admin&acad to tell them that I can't make it. Maybe something inside is welling up and it is affecting me outwards.

I haven't talked to mama for a week until today when suddenly after talking to her, I felt so much better. Funny isn't it? she is like a medicine. I am 25, and yes I am still a mama's girl. Not to mention talking to dee put a smile on my face too.

Today, I knew that bears are real and they are not the usual cuddly huggable bear that we know of. Mama, dee and my sisters  went to Montana for a family reunion and like a 7y.o child .. they tell me stories that really  captivates my heart, they showed me photos of them in the place where mountains are so cool with all the animals like deers around it. It's my kind of fairytale .. OUTDOORS. It was followed with a really cool question like "when is the next climb?" and "you may have to get a tent .. this and that" can you  imagine a little kid throwing tantrooms and being bribed on? that's the picture.

Who am I and what I'm worth is something that I should never forget, I should know that in every season, my parents love me and more that HE does. Why? because I am me and I am chosen. And it cannot be changed no matter what I do wrong, no matter how bad I feel or no matter how undeserving I can be.

Reflecting from the word given last sunday, reading from the book of Ephesians. Knowing who we are changes the way we think, often we forget about how blessed we are and see things just like the norm. I am sick or should i say I was but now I am healed. In John 1:12-13 it says  Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. I am His child and He owns my life.,sure SEALED.

I will be made complete in Him .. and the rest will come as a bonus. I am a work in progress, i'll get there soon.

When things are too annoying ...

One kid is crying and the rest are busy making noise, one child comes to me asking to unbutton his pants coz he needs to pee while another child is calling because he needs a tissue to blow on. On the other corner are 2kids going under the table and ripping off my table sidings as another one hurt another unintentionally. Imagine it happening all at the same time and if you are not patient enough .. you might decide to just leave the room and sleep at home. "Lord, where are you? I need a whole bunch of grace"

Just so you know, we have a presentation this Friday and I am so pressured about teaching my kids with all the correct lyrics and actions of our song. I tell you, it isn't easy and their "being a child" adds up to making it more difficult. I don't know what happened to them today .. they were so unruly I felt so helpless getting their attention and have them obey me. I almost cried at that very minute and for the first time I raised my voice really high and suddenly it's like the earth stopped revolving .. looking at their innocent faces hurried on their chairs sat up straight and look at me I felt guilty and I hope I hadn't. So for that, I owe them an apology tomorrow.

You may probably read my post about all the fun-talks I had with the kids., my others friends are actually waiting when I'm going to share another while others say that they want to be a pre-school teacher too. So if you do too, this is the other side of being one.

Everyday, when I come to work I consistently ask God to make me come prepared, filter my thoughts, my heart and my mouth that I may only speak life towards them and show them the most sincere and kindest acts that I could. I hug them, kiss them and often reassure them of their worth because I love them and I know that it is my job to do so. But somehow, I lose track. I got tired and I feared that I almost swayed my way out.

....to be continued.

TIME OF MY LIFE

Life has it's own set of phase .. and timing has a lot to do with what could happen. I am trying to look at my life's Gannt Chart as I am listening to the song "Time of your life" by Greenday. Staring at the clear blue sky with a strong wind come rushing through my face by the window .. I say a little prayer to God.

I am asking God to search my heart as I am seeking Him earnestly at this point of time, He is so silent that He is making me want to reach out for Him all the more. I am waiting and waiting is sometimes awkward. I don't like the feeling, I don't like the season, I want to fast it forward but if I do .. I may miss out the vitals.

Perhaps I have forgotten who am I and fail to also remember that my timing is different from God's. You know that with too much people going I somehow felt left behind. I don't easily adopt to change .. well who does? .. so here am I on a pruning phase and I am just excited about what the next phase would be.

My mama .. bow :)

It is never without my mama will I be who I am today. At the thought of missing her., I just want to honor her with this blog.

I thank God not for the kind of mama He gave me but for who my mama is. A perfectly imperfect mama who stood by me from the moment when my knees are still weak to stand. My mind cannot remember the first time I saw her face nor I can tell when I first hear her voice .. but I know she do know when she first see and heard mine. Growing up, I never see her fought with pop and never did she throw angry words on us. She has been the greatest model of my life. Living in the truth of what life is.

I have likes that she don't agree on, but she supports it and that is what I love about her the most. I sometimes fail, but she remained to be my number one fan of all times. I screw up and she allow me to swallow the pain and help me get healed after then. My mama.. sometimes it is so annoying to hear her say this and that but I miss is when she don't.

Wish you were here ma. I love you.

CHANGE

How do you go about changes? allow me to quote a line from my favorite series Smallville "Life is about change, sometimes its painful .. sometimes its beautiful, but most of the time its both" - Lana Lang.

And as they say, change is the only constant thing on earth aside from my own belief that God's love is. Oh well, I know that we all go through all sorts of changes in life but you see .. it is taking me a while to embrace changes that entails being away from people who I am used to spending time with. Talk about maturity .. I hate the fact that as we mature or grow older we get to part ways with our closest friends or worst with our family members because we have separate lives to live and yea .. sometimes it happens in different places too. Ooh .. I don't even know where this blog is taking me. Maybe I need to get on to bed now and wake up early to jog a bit.

I love you :)

LAUGHTERS'

Laughter is when you have to bite your lips to make it red because you were told to put a lipstick on but you don't have one.

Laughter is when you sit in a row of ladies who's reading incorrect lyrics from their apple (iPads, Mac-air) gadgets and you are reading yours (the correct one) in an iPad-paper.

 Laughter is when a typo error turned out to be a word to call another person where no one could ever comprehend why you call each other that way.

Laughter is when you are in a tent with friends .. all locked up when someone in the group farts so bad.

Laughter is when you try so hard to get mad and your pupils will laugh about it so you'll end up laughing too.

Laughter is when I will tell my kid that he has a big tummy and he will answer back "ikaw ren naman" (you too)

Laughter is when, a soldier sing and dance "jologs" songs in front of everybody where his "kagalang -galang" photo in front is hanging.

Laughter is when, I imagine me and my friends ordering from mcdonald's drive thru on our feet. :))

Laughter is when you get on in a crowded .. almost overloaded elevator and you don't turn back but face all of them instead.  (smiling)

*laughter has always been a super great medicine. It always comes available when you choose to see things in a positive light. I learned that being unhappy never do us any good nor will it turn an unlikely situation to something better. We choose how we live and how we live affects the people around us. How well do you like to live a life that can only be lived once? Think again.

I love you :)

Dear Diary #1

Dear Diary,

I was feeling dizzy the whole day and my energy had gone down to its lowest. I threw up like 3 times and I literally forgot to eat perhaps that's what made me feel so weak. But yea .. my thoughts are still active but I have lose interest to converse with anyone. I happen to mis-send sms and even pm's on my social sites so I decided to just turn the green light off. I had a little chitchat with mom and dee over yahoo voice though ..but not the usual, my tongue is placed.

I'm typing all these while my younger sister is conversing with our younger sisters in tagalog so they won't forget to speak the language (they sound so cute and funny) soon enough they will be together when ate and I will be left here in the Phil for a time., I hope though that it won't be too long. I wish I can see God's gantt chart .. to know where I am now. Life matters, why all of a sudden I felt unhappy? seasons ..